Right this very second I am sitting with a steamy cup of coffee and I am exhausted. I know that exhaustion is a part of my illness and I try my best, but the guilt of "resting" instead of "doing" weighs heavy on me.

I know I'm sick, I feel it everyday, I see the subtle symptoms, other people don't. If you walked past me on the street I wouldn't look any different then a healthy person.

I have liver disease which has turned part of my liver into scar tissue. I am on 6 different meds to "help" my liver filter my blood.
I also have 4 "inoperable begnin tumours" living on this poor liver of mine. Good news is that they are NOT CANCER, bad news is that they are growing around the main artery. 
I live with a constant ache in my side, side effects from all the meds, and I get colds really easy because my immunity is low. 

My way of coping with all this is with humour. I joke about needing coffee 24/7 and I even named my tumours John, Paul, George and Ringo. Ringo is obviously the largest one.

I wish there was a manual out there that would tell me EXACTLY when I should keep my kids home from school and when I should stay home from work.  It would have to be very very specific, for example:

• If your child has a temperature of 99 or higher keep them home. 
• If their snot is green keep them home. 
• If it has been 10 hours since they last vomited they can go to school.

I am not a fan of making a judgement call call at 6am, I constantly second guess myself.  If I keep him home, I worry about what he is missing.  If I send him I worry that he is feeling terrible and making everyone else sick.

Same goes for me at work, however staying home is a little more tricky then just having my mom call in for me.  This weekend I choose to stay home, I had a fever and no voice.  A voice is very important when you work in customer service! In order for me to stay home and "rest" I had to find someone to replace me, go to the clinic and get a note from a doctor and by the time all that was done I was exhausted and thinking that I should have just sucked it up and gone in to work......

Yesterday we spent the whole day outside,it was beautiful. we played at the park and went for a bike ride.  Today when my alarm went off at 6 am, I could barely swallow. Then I went into A's bedroom to get him up for school and he had a temp of 101! So right now we are sitting in front of the TV watching movies....